Derek: (intro) In this episode my guest is McKing Lee. McKing is a Singaporean Hypnotist that has been featured in The New Paper, ChannelNews Asia, Millennials of Singapore and Toggle on a piece called Hypnosis is my business. He’ll be sharing about how hypnosis works and how he uses it to help his clients.
Derek: I understand you had a pretty traumatizing experience that kind of changed the course of your life, maybe you could tell us a little about what happened?
McKing: Sure, okay. So, it all happened when I was about 20 years old. I woke up feeling a little bit breathless and I had no idea what was going on, every time I walk, every step I took, was like somebody took a knife and stabbed me in my back and sent electricity, it was so painful. I went to the hospital and they took an x-ray and they showed the x-ray to me. The doctor said that ‘you will die in the next few days from suffocation or in the next few minutes from air crush your heart and unless we do the procedure now.’ So what happened, when I saw the x-ray, the lung is so big and I saw that my lung had collapsed to the size of an egg, all the way to the very bottom. I was like in shock. I mean, he said you will die. I actually collapsed onto the ground and was crying, so that was so traumatizing in a sense because it is near-death in a sense, right?
McKing: But I didn’t know that there were other side effects. So, I’ll break it up a little bit. So what happened is this, there is a conscious mind and there is an unconscious mind. The conscious mind is like gatekeeper, you right now as an adult, you listen to me,’ you can choose to reject or accept.
McKing: But what happens is that when you give a shock to a person, that conscious mind can temporarily go down. Then, when it’s down the information or what’s happening can actually imprint onto the unconscious mind. This was happening right there. When the doctor gave me the x-ray and then he said, ‘oh you will die [inaudible 00:01:31]’, and I dropped to the ground, my conscious mind was down, and my unconscious mind was trying to process what the hell is happening. Why are we dying? Oh, the lung has a problem. But why does the lung have a problem? Oh, in presentation we had the breathing difficulties so what I didn’t know was that they actually linked together, the trauma and the presentation.
McKing: So, I developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For the next two and a half years in Poly. Every time I did a presentation, I would actually have to run to somewhere private, usually the toilet, and I’m having a mental and physical emotional breakdown. And I was just crying, and I’m standing in front of a mirror and I’m wondering, since when do I have stage fright? So bad, so severe? But I didn’t know it was actually PTSD.
McKing: Much later, I actually met this face reader. And then he shared how he can see on my face that I should have been dead long ago. That was a bit ‘wow,’ you know. This is going to area – it’s unknown to me because I am Catholic. I don’t believe in all this kind of fortune telling. And yet he’s describing something that is, you don’t just tell any Tom, Dick or Harry. And that’s right you know.
McKing: And I decide to just follow him for a bit, and he was sharing how some Chinese meta-physics or TCM, the energy the ‘qi gong’ And I realized how important health was. If your health sucks, you can’t do a lot of things in life. And through the law of attraction, what happens is that there is a Reticular Activating System; so because I wanted to look for health, I start seeing things about health. And then, on Facebook and ad popped up, NLP. This NLP is from Australia – it was a Facebook ad. And it talks about holistic health techniques. I went for the workshop, and I went for the course. It was during the basic NLP course – that’s when I realized that my issue was actually PTSD and that it can be cured. The only thing was, I didn’t want to ask my classmates, they were just as basic as me. I didn’t want them to screw up my mind again, so I didn’t want that. So I actually went for the master NLP course. And during the master NLP course is when I realized that hypnosis is the core of almost all of the techniques in NLP.
McKing: So, a little bit of background on NLP. John Grinder and Richard Bandler, they took the best practices at that point in time, put it together and created NLP. What did they take? They took; body language, coaching, as well as hypnosis, among other things. So a lot of techniques inside do come from hypnosis. One of the techniques that my trainer wanted to teach, or train us in, I offered myself up as a demo subject. That was, of course, for my PTSD issue and that was probably the most emotional, but most healing experience, I have had.
McKing: I was standing in front of like 20 people or so, and I was crying, crying, crying, because I was so called reliving that trauma. But this time it was to heal. It’s quite fast, it’s quite effective. It’s not the one we see on television, the traditional *snore noise*, two hours hypnosis. It’s just, there. And I can do it in a café, in a restaurant and I just help people. But before I start a business, I continue to work on myself. Why? Because I work on myself, on personal development, on health, yes, but what about business. I didn’t know anything about that.
McKing: So, I used one of the techniques I have learnt on myself first about business. For example, if you have a mindset that when you start a business that everyone is going to be close-minded, not going to be a client, you need to change that mindset because otherwise you are going to attract those kind of clients. Then you’ll fail. So I had to change that – money beliefs. And from that kind of idea – it can potential to have a poverty mindset. So, I didn’t want to have that. Because you want to have a business, you want to have money to sustain. Otherwise, you will be collapsing on yourself. So, I had to remove such things – money mindset, business mindset; change all the things until I felt that I was ready. Then I started my business.
Derek: Very interesting, what about when you say you’re going in, and deconstructing things – what are some people’s barriers? Maybe they have a mindset of ‘oh, they have hypnosis’ what is that? Or they are not sure, they associate it with something negative. How do you break through those barriers?
McKing: For example, the misconception that hypnosis is mind-control, or you lose free will. You leak all your secrets. Now the thing about hypnosis and trance is that – we are always going to trance every single day already. When you day dream, use your imagination; the funny thing is that when you can feel an emotion, you’re already tapping into the unconscious mind. Because the unconscious mind sort of controls your emotions, while your conscious mind is more logical.
McKing: If you can go into trance already by yourselves, then all I do is use the natural occurring phenomena to actually do therapeutic work. Then, also, you have free will. I can only hypnotize you for therapy purposes if you give your permission or consent. This means that if there is a secret that you do not want to share with me, you will not share with me.
Derek: You know, we’ve talked a little bit about this – you know you had to open yourself up a little bit to that healing. That’s a process that I am familiar with. Changing that mindset through some self-awareness, and through some exposure to new things you start to open that door. But then you also go deeper, because I can’t just say ‘Hey, McKing, looks like PTSD was connected with that near-death experience, so don’t worry about it.’ But you’re saying hypnosis taps into deeper level of subconscious to – if that door is open, connected. Tell us some more about how that disconnects. How you heal that subconscious.
McKing: Depending on the construct of the problem, then we can use hypnosis to go in and then deconstruct the problem. For example, in my case, think of it as presentation and emotion is actually connected together. And what I did was, what we did with my trainer – is that we had to relive that moment and then we achieve from a 3rd party point of view actually help to disconnect that emotion from the presentation. And also to resolve, and even do a forgiveness process for the Doctor. Because, quote unquote, I was ‘hurt’ by the Doctor. So by healing that part, doing the forgiveness process for his hurts onto me. It sort of let go of the emotion, so that I can still recall logically ‘yeah, this happened to me’ – but I don’t have that emotional connection to it anymore. So, that’s for me.
McKing: Now, for a number of issues, this is actually one where we can help people. Sometimes it is a little bit different, because it could be that the problem construct that we need to deconstruct it by changing the whole symbology of it. And sometimes it is also – could be a case of, well think of it this way, your mind is not inside than your brain. Your mind is actually out of your body into the space around. Of course, everybody’s different. Some people’s minds are really just their body and some people it is encompassing the space around it. I had this lady whose – she said that success is out of reach. And, normally, when someone tells you something is out of reach it is usually beyond arm’s length. Because no matter where you go, in the physical space, in your mind it is still beyond arms reach. But in her case, her success was actually just directly in front of her. So, then I asked her: why do you say success is out of reach?
McKing: And she said: that’s because it is not in my body. I’m like ‘Oh, okay, if it’s not in your body – take your hand, grab it, push it into your body, and now what happens?’ When she did that, her tears flowed. And she is like ‘McKing, I finally success is within me – I could achieve success now.’ And I am like ‘Congratulations.’ Then she said, ‘Oh McKing, the fear of failure is gone.’ So, what happened for her, was that success pop out of her body and the hole remaining in the mind (the construct); the hole was the fear of failure. And success is just floating in front. So, all we needed was to shift something in its own room.
McKing: Everybody is different in a sense. Sometimes it’s a releasing or letting go of an emotion – whether through; forgiveness, or there is a resolution, finding [inaudible 00:09:04], sometimes it’s shifting things around, sometimes it is deconstructing or reconstructing something else. That sort of covers most, if not all, the techniques that I do basically.
Derek: Through understanding, you help them kind of change that mindset. Because some people need to be, somewhat, more open to it. If they’re like ‘oh, you know, I can’t be hypnotized’ or maybe ‘I want to change, but I feel like I can’t be hypnotized.’ What are some of the processes that you do open their minds?
McKing: For that, I’ll actually bring them to remember, in their points of life, where they did experience mini-trances. Whether it’s a recollection of a memory, emotion, or daydream, or tapping into emotion – sorry, imagination. Or if they drive. So what happens, if you are a driver. And you drive from point A to point B – have you ever, from point A to point B along a familiar route – find yourself at point B and you don’t even know what happened?
Derek: Yeah, you’re a little startled by it. But you’re like, I guess my brain went on autopilot for a little bit there.
McKing: That’s a trance. It’s a kind of driving trance. Or even you forgot where you put your keys, your glasses – these are all little mini-trances along the way. When somebody will say they can’t be hypnotized, and you actually share about this, they actually realize they’ve been in trance before. So now the thing is – the next step – is whether they’re willing to actually change. Now, if they do not want to give permission for change, then yes I can’t hypnotize them at all. Because, they do not want to be in the trance with somebody else to actually have change.
For example, let’s say (again forgiveness), a person has been abused by another person and, at that point in time, they cannot forgive that person. It’s fine. You know, they can be in hypnosis – but they decided, you know what? I can’t forgive this person at this point in time. I’m still angry with him. That’s fine. So, I can’t like force a person to just change for whatever reason. They have to be willing to change and seek help for themselves. In this case, especially when parents bring their kids, and you tell the parents – you can’t just bring your kids to me and I ‘poof’ and it’s done. It doesn’t work that way. The kid has to realize that there is an issue, but at the same time, also, I would want to have an open discussion. Because it is possible that parents see the issues, but the issue is not directly on the kid. It could actually be from the parents themselves.
Derek: So, it’s not just about learning the techniques of hypnosis. It’s really going down on what is the core of the problem there. I see that exploratory process really important. Going back a little bit, you mentioned that started to understand law of attraction – you started to see things appear different. Could you speak a little about Law of Attraction and how that’s been something that you’ve incorporated into your life?
McKing: The thing about law of attraction is that is just like law of gravity. It’s there. It’s not something you can control, quote unquote, or you can utilize. Because it is just like law of gravity. You jump, you will fall. It’s the law of gravity. Exactly that. What I find is that – for law of attraction, is that we don’t understand it’s not think positive to attract positivity into your life. But, rather, what is already in your mind – that attracts into your life.
McKing: Example, if you are brought up in a family where the mindset from the parents is (let’s say poverty mindset), then there is a higher chance that the person will have poverty mindset. If a person has poverty mindset, then they are not going to attract money that easily. Right? They’re going to attract poverty, debts. So, what is happening, or what I mean to share, is that we learn from our parents, our family; that is stuck as a belief attitude mindset or pattern or program – whatever you want to call it – in our mind.
McKing: And the law of attraction will attract whatever is in our mind to us. What happens is that when you want to think positive and you realize that can’t attract that positive. That’s because there is something negative or opposite or reaction – whatever you want to call it – in the mind that is actually inhibiting or limiting that positive stuff. You get where I am coming from.
McKing: What happens is we actually got to resolve this negative – the limiting, the things that holding us back. Then, we can actually attract what we want in our lives, in that sense. Now, once we actually have that the inverse is also true if you were to, quote unquote, negative. You attract negative into your life. Same thing. Where there is positive or negative. It goes both ways. And what happens is that, what I do share, is that is it actually self-hypnosis. Whatever we say, will go straight into our unconscious mind. Now, as I mentioned earlier, If I say something – you can choose to accept or reject, right? Close the open door. But whatever you say, to yourself, will come from a hundred percent open doors. You will go into the unconscious mind.
McKing: Now, happens once it goes to unconscious mind – if less you say is negative and, oh you know what? That’s like ten years of negative that fits this negative mindset – it will come true. That’s what we call self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you say something positive and that positive, if it fit the ten years positive, great! If there is a ten years negative, it will counter that two seconds positive – that positive doesn’t come true. That’s how self-hypnosis comes in. Now, when we actually say something. For example, ‘oh, I feel like buying a new car,’ what’s going to happen is that you’re going to start seeing; this color, brand, this car model, car license plate number. You’re going to start seeing these all over the place.
McKing: Now, they’ve been there already. This is because you said it. You sort of wanted it. Then you start looking up these kinds of things. This is how NLP ad has probably been on my Facebook for, I don’t know how long. But because I wanted to focus on health, bing! Holistic hey that caught my eye. That’s how that part works. Once we understand these process, as well as knowing what is holding us back – that will allow us to achieve, so-call utilize, the law of attraction much more easily. Compared to before. Where you think positive and attract positive – it’s not just that any more.
Derek: Very interesting. You know, I’ve heard the example: even when you type something in Google’s tracking, ‘oh, you’re looking for this’ and then you see it more. And some people say, ‘I’ve said that out loud and then I’m starting to see these things pop up.’ And the article was mentioning that same concept. You’re associating the fact that people thing these technologies are listening to what we’re saying, but it is just the fact of that you’re saying it. That self-hypnosis is kicking in and it’s got that open door. And then you’re seeing it, so it’s describing that. It’s very interesting, I’ve heard that same things before.
Derek: And now, what about the people you help? What kind of things are people coming to you looking for help with?
McKing: Most people come to me, it’s related to mental health. That’s actually my specialty as well. Since I’ve been there; anxiety, PTSD, depression. I’ve been there before. So, my specialty is with mental health. So, most people come to me – it’s for; anxiety, some depression, some trauma, some cases of abuse and they have actually to let go of it. I do have some people come to me for relationship issues, money issues. This is because the family they have brought up in actually contributes to that. Again, going back to learning from our family, what I give an example – is that if there is a father beating a mother, there a case of abuse. Let’s say there is a son and daughter. The son will learn from the father what it means to be a man. So, the son will learn from the father either A) if you love someone beat them. So this son will actually become abuser in the future. Or B) if you’re angry, just beat someone. This person might go to jail or something. Or C) A and B combined. Or D, F, G – like, maybe men are higher than women or whatever.
McKing: The girl will learn from the mum what it means to be a woman. So, she will learn A) if you love someone get beaten by them. This girl is where we hear of cases of woman going from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. And they kind of get stuck in it. It’s from this, from the mum. Now, they could also be learning: if you get beaten, just keep quiet. So, in this case, they are bullied in school, just keep quiet. C) A and B combined, and maybe even other cases.
McKing: So, when we learn, but also not just learn that early from that, we also learn what a man is or what a woman is and what a family is all about. What happens is, under the law of attraction, these two kids grow up to be adults and they will start to attract into their lives that same pattern. So the girl might be consciously trying to get a guy; a gentleman who doesn’t beat her. Okay, she might think positive. What is going to happen is that, because the pattern in her mind is that the man is abusive. She is going to unconsciously attract such people. The guy looks like a gentleman. Doesn’t beat. Does not mean he’s an abuser.
McKing: The man is going to search for girls who are submissive so that he can beat. So that’s where the law of attraction comes in. Then they will come to me, because the relationship has an issue. I help them to resolve. And for this case – one where is actually to go back in time (regression technique) in their mind, in their memories. And just sort of let go of what they learned about the man and the woman from the mum and the dad. One of the processes is the forgiveness process, and once we’ve disconnected with those are my parents. That’s not me. Then they can start to reboot their life for what they want to look for in a man or a woman. And what they are all about. Instead of negative person, they can be a positive person in a sense.
McKing: That’s our relationship issues. It’s like we are human, but we are a giant cell replicating from the parent cells. We’re going to duplicate and replicate in our own future families as well.
Derek: I think it speaks a lot about your character that you’re doing what you love. I mean, how – if people listen to this and maybe they’ve identified issues in their life, they want to think about contacting you. What is the best way to hear from you? And how can you help?
McKing: Okay, so, you can check out my website: leemcking.sg. Or my Facebook, or Instagram, which is: leemckingthehypnotist. You can like, follow and then, of course, you can text me there. I will respond pretty fast.
Derek: And I saw you do events. Do you do events very often? Where you kind of speak about different things or…
McKing:If I can.
Derek: Awesome. Well, I appreciate you taking the time coming on Mindset Park and I think it’s been an interesting journey. I’m excited to hear from you in the future and what you do.
McKing: Thank you for having me.
Derek: Thank you very much.
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